Today is my birthday and I turned 44 years young. I’d never thought that I would live to see this day. I mean I was counted out since I was a preteen… 13 to be exact. All because I was an out of wed-lock young mother. I had my first born that passed away less than a week later, automatically made me an HIV carrying crack head. Of course it’s not true. I mean having HIV and a crack head for 30 years, on top of having two types of Lupus & Sjogren Disease. I should very sick and or near death, with treatment. I’m just saying… I am very Humble & Grateful that I’m here to live to see 44.
Have ever just sat back and said to yourself, “I’m so proud of my children”. That is just how I feel. My children have been through a tremendous ordeal in their young lives, and now that they are fully grown, I just smile. They have overcome the statics in the world. I have a beautiful family. Grandchildren and all, I am so proud. I’m a black Queen Mother, that knows just what the world should have, could have, and did to them. Levels of life that they should have, or as I did, give up on. Yes I have one son that was incarcerated, and two college educated children. Some ask, how did that happen. It just happen. It’s not about how or why he was incarcerated, it’s about what he did afterward. Yes his siblings and I supported him all the way, and we still support each other. No I’m not speaking on just monetary, we support each other in all aspects of life. These three in particular, have over come more odds than you can imagine. My oldest being 27, has over come teenage pregnancy, different baby daddies, and being dependent upon welfare. She is currently about to begin another college semester, this time she is studying to be a Social Worker. My first born son, 26 years old, is about to get his GED and go to college as well.My baby boy, 25 years old, is going back to college, after being a Corrections officer, to being in the National Guard. They all have had children while doing so.So as you can see, I am a proud Mom. I love my grown children and my grandbabies. PROUD MOM I am….
This time I coming a little different then I did the last time. I’m going to discuss a little about both of these diseases. They resemble a lot, but they do have their differences.
Yes of course I’m going to talk about myself. I can’t talk about anyone, I can ONLY speak for me, myself and I.
Before I begin, I need to stress just how frustrating this is to have to deal with. Especially for people that actually have zero of a clue of what people as myself, have to go through on a daily agonizing day. Everyday is a different day. We have to just learn to go with flow of things.
As Isaid before, everyday is different. Just as today, I had an alright day. Other than my left hand going numb as usual, it was good. Yes I said usual. As I continue to talk about my issues with both of these disases, I will speak as into continuously.
There are plenty of days where I constantly in fear of what the next day may hold for me. My days for me from one day to the next. If my monthly cycle comes, it’s over. It feels as though sometime that I’m about to die. Then on a regular day, I have to deal dry eyes, dry mouth with mouth sores, as well as the spasms, nerve, and or joint pay. I’d say that I have about maybe one good week out of an entire month. Can someone please tell me, what job will hire me. I’m not so sure what it is I can do. Yes I have a primary care doctor. Yes I’m on medication. I was prescribed meloxicam as well as cymbalta. I also take the all so knowing prednisone. Hey I’m still here. At least I can definitely say that.
You know, the worst thing I saw another person that had lupus, yes past tense. She passed away. The lady was in a fetal position most days, because her joints was stuck in lock up mode, as I say, for just about the last three months of her life. It was the first time I even ever heard of lupus. I Never in my heard of sjogrens, until I was diagnosed with it. I’m not sure how to explain anymore of exactly how painful these diseases are. It maybe a little repetitive sounding as I talk about the pain, but it’s not like I can say anything nice about it. Or you may want to know about other body changes like pimples at 44 years of age. Or what they call the butter rash, what doctors see in the Caucasian world. It affects Black women differently than the lighter skin people in the world.
If anyone is still interested in lupus and or sjogrens, please feel free to leave a comment.
I was just sitting here, thinking about how, just how much things have changed.
From whatever you want to call the past 4 years of president, to what we now know as Covid-19/Coronavirus. Not to even mention the senseless killings of people, by what are supposed to be here to serve and protect, asshole police.
Yeah, I know you thought I was going to say just brown and black people. No I’m not ignorant. These butt wipes, of law enforcement, doesn’t care what color you are. They only know, that we come from low income neighbor hoods. Its just most of the people being MURDERED Are brown and black people.
No, I’m not trying to start any unneeded mess, but the title is called ” Just Thinking”.
I don’t know if you heard about the new sh/t that is about to happen….
Well, riddle me this…. If I get locked up/ and or incarcerated, I am now free…. Have I paid my debts to society?… Now DOC does stand for correction, right?….
Sen. Jeffrey Brandes (R-St. Petersburg)Photo: m.flsenate.gov says that anyone that has “been”, charged with a felony, does not deserve the minimum wage, as they claim to be raising, the $15 hour.
WTF…..
Can someone anyone, help me understand this? I thought we were in a “so called”, free world. But then I realized that after Trump came in…. So did the crazies…
I’m like, haven’t my ancestors gone through enough…. What have people of color, done to you transparent people, to make you HATE us so much? If it wasn’t for us, YOUR civil war, would have NEVER been won.
We as people of color, have built, made, invented a many of things, that you transparent people have taken as your own. Did we say anything? NO…. You people are just selfish, and aware to God, that you all are better…. LMAO… Yes, I beg to differ….
In today’s America, I am so embarrassed. I am embarrassed to the fact, of the place I was born and raised;… my home, has become a joke.
I studied so much over my life, from religion, historical race issues, the different types of wars, to even political.
Never in the political history, has a president ever been in such a delusional mental state of denial, as President Trump is… I’m at a loss for words. He won’t come out of his office. (In my words), “he is holding his staff hostage”, he is loosing his complete mind.
I felt that from the beginning… He Never had it;… if you ask me.
My embarrassment stems from the fact that, even the people there in government, them along with Trump, signed an oath to Honor the Constitution, of placing the People of America, 1st.
They, along with Trump, is allowing their EGO to stand up. Its a Trump 1st, before America. This virus is at yet another, All time high, with NOTHING said and or NOTHING being done about it.
How much longer, will WE, AMERICANS, have to be PUNISHED? We are being punished, by having a self centered, self absorbed baby;… that won’t act like a man, take his “L”, like a man. Maybe because…. Nevermind.
I’m so trying to keep my composer here. I’m one of the people, whose medical insurance was taken. I’m also among the people of color, and a woman, that Trump so much enjoys to, Disrespect.
We NEEDa Leader that will Actually LEAD. We, as ALL AMERICANS need a Leader that won’t DELIBERATELY Divide the country. We need a leader that won’t be afraid of the hard questions. We need a leader that will listen to All Americans.
It’s Time to be United. It’s Time to be Together. Divided we stand, and Divided WE WILL FALL.
November 3rd became to me;… A Dawn of a New Day. It’s a Victory for many Americans, as we now can sit back and anticipate, on the Hopeful affects of our country rebuilding itself. We have watched over the last 4 years, someone that was “Supposed”, to be the Chief, Leader, President, destroy our country, with division and racial rhetoric.
Joe Biden, became our 46th President, starting January 2021. As we all know, president elect Biden, has been in politics, for a little more than 40 years. President Elect Biden, knows all too well of how we feel. He has suffered tragedy and loss. He has been through hurdles and obstacles, just as many other Americans have. Mr. Biden understands what it is like to loose a loved one;… What it is like to be poor, and what it is like to have a family member to succumb to drugs and or alcohol.
I personally don’t trust ANY politicians. They are;… Well some…. Are liars and corrupt. Most are in the political world, ( if you ask me), for money. Unfortunately, that happens to be the way of the world. To actually have a leader that knows and understand, how the people of our nation truly feels.
President Elect Biden, along with now for the 1st time EVER, a Woman;…a woman of color,to be exact. Kamala Harris, our “woman”, Vice President, also know and understand, how we feel. She comes from a family of immigrants, that had to go through the same unfair injustice of America.
President Elect Biden
Vice President Elect Harris
The USA, has gone through more unnecessary injustice, than I can remember. I’m 43 years old. I can honestly say, that I’d much rather have another Bush;…. any Bush, in office, before we had to go through another horrible 4 years of Trump. I’m not going to start a Trump hate story;… I would not have the space to type;… Nor do I have the time. So I’ll just stop here…
Just as any other elected official, Mr. Biden has promised a many of things that he will do. Well they ALL start out that way. Then by the end of their term, not even half of said promises are even mentioned and or actually done.
The 1st thing he promised to do…. He IS already actually beginning on said promises… To try and combat the coronavirus pandemic. An epic failure Mr. Trump, and sadly he is still denying, that has caused the deaths of approximately 220,000 fellow Americans. Mr. Biden hasn’t even made residency in the White House, and is already doing the job he signed up for.
President elect and Vice President elect are fully aware, of what lies ahead of them. From the mishandling of Covid-19, to the division of the United States. These 2 people are not only ready for this, in my words, “They were MADE for this”.
From the very moment the world entered into the year of 2020, we KNEW, things was about to change. Boy, was I right… We began with a mass pandemic that killed about a 1/3 of the world, to mass job loss, mass homelessness, to TOTAL discrimination and division, to killer cops. Our world, our lives have been turned, literally, upside down.
Now…. Now… Now we can breath. After hearing that statement, it’s sad;… But it is a true statement. We now have people in leadership that will actually do the job, that they signed up for. Mr. Biden and Mrs. Harris ARE the people for the job. They are OUR people, for ALL People.
If you’re a mother or someone that has to live on a fixed income, or have to need the help of some type of agency to pay any and or all your bills;… Then this is for you.
Imagine, being homeless for over a year;… To only finding something… Anything… Just to call home. Well, here in the year of 2020; where many families, know all to well, of what homelessness is Really like;… People all across the World, not just this nation;… Have suffered with the pandemic of Covid -19, aka, Coronavirus…. This is the nations worst EVER year in history;… that I can remember.
In the US alone, we have far over 200,000 deaths, loss of employment across the ENTIRE world, & not to mention again;… Homelessness… Due to this pandemic ALONE.
It’s crazy how the world changed in just the blink of an eye. Being homeless teaches a person a thing or two. So when a person finally finds stable housing, they learn how to relax. A feeling of something like, the weight has been lifted… Finally. So you sit back… and tell yourself;.. Now I can, “maybe”, enjoy what ever it is that is left of the world.
So of course, my readers should know by now, that I am speaking of my own experience. I know all to well, with personal, first hand knowledge, of the, “Ahh”-… feeling…and what it feels like, as you allow it to come out of your throat. The peace that comes over your body… at that very moment. That is exactly how, my husband and I felt at that very moment, when we received our keys to our new apartment, after being homeless, for OVER a year.
But it all started to crumble. Not one tenant in Sunrise Towers, ever saw it coming. My husband and I moved in on or about February 20th, of 2020. Since we have been here, (less than a year), we, the tenants of Sunrise Towers, are on Landlord/Manager #3. Every single one of the new landlord/managers ALL have different rules. They All want the tenants to do different things, that are ALL contrary to the contract/lease that we ALL signed.
According to the contract/lease that my husband and I signed; our monthly rent was documented and implemented at being $900 each month for a total of 12 months. The contract/lease would be expired, after a year of residency. Now since landlord/manager #3 came on board… she,(accidentally), told me, (I’m sure it was by mistake), that the rent for our apartment, (210), was in fact $750 a month. That is a $150 difference. That information was, (of course), quite surprising. Now on top of the already back load of things, that they REFUSE to fix;… I have been, and currently will continue to receive an electric bill from FPL, for well over $600 every month. ( Faulty AC Unit). FPL did a diagnostic test, to see EXACTLY why my electricity is and was so extremely high. The outcome was basically, that the central AC unit is to large for my unit. That was back in June. Since then, I have verbally spoken to and written emails, to ALL the different landlords/managers and spoke PERSONALLY, (with black and white proof), to the, “OWNER”, of Sunrise Towers, all the problems in my apartment;.. to have landlord/manager #3, to tell me I should call and request help from Lee Cares… Well I did… The FACT that my light bill is well OVER $1600, Lee Cares paid around $883 or so. But, if you can count… There is still a remaining $600 plus that is still owed. What are we supposed to do?…Who pays the rest?… Yea… I know… We do. But what about the months after that? What about the future FPL bill, that will continue to keep coming; and it will STILL be to expensive for us to afford. WHY?;.. because the AC unit still has NEVER been replaced; Actually… Sunrise Towers, landlord/manager and or owner, has YET to even speak of it. I still haven’t even told you guys about the mold and the leak in my bathroom, from the apartment above me, that is coming down from my ceiling. Landlord/manager #2 was able to get the owner to at least pay, or purchase material to have the water stop the dripping from the ceiling in my bathroom;… But if you know anything about plaster or molding, then you already know, what is done, is simple and Not complex at all; ( If the job is completed properly)… But in some cases;… such as mine is… It was not repaired properly. So now, I am starting to see, the ALWAYS very OBVIOUS sign, of the UGLY brown spots. Which in FACT means, the leak above me, was NOT, repaired CORRECTLY.
Today, was the day that really upset me. I have 2 types of SLE lupus and sjogrens disease; being able to go to sleep at night, will be a luxury… But we were RUDELY awaken, with a disturbing banging, on my front door, by people I or my husband had NEVER even seen before; (all, with exception of landlord/manager #3);… And to have these UNKNOWN people, TRY to FORCE me to change the locks on my door. Yes… I said FORCE. Under Florida law, it is ILLEGAL to change the locks on a tenants apartment, without their consent. A landlord/manager can change the locks, ONLY if it has been abandoned and or the if tenant was evicted, ( by a court ordered judge), and is served by a Sheriff Officer.
Sunrise Towers, landlord/manager #3, along with the above said UNKNOWN door bullies, that was with here prior, at my apartment, harassing me earlier;…ILLEGALLY evicted a family with a small child. The family does admit to receiving a 3 day notice for failure to pay rent… However;… Was locked completely out, (with the FORCEFUL lock changing bullie group). The family NOT being present at “their” apartment, at that particular time… Was ILLEGALLY , locked out of their apartment, with a FORCED, change of the locks. Shortly after the family was given the 3 day notice, the landlord/manager #3, convinced the man of the house, to give them his apartment key;… and they may speak later. At that time, it looked as a good suggestion for the family; (because they couldn’t stay there at that moment.) They were already in a financial bind,( “covid-19/corona virus pandemic induced), and to have a serious “MOLD” problem in the apartment. Yes landlord/manager #1, #2, & #3 all knew. (“As EVERY tenant got mold”). Can somebody… anybody…. Please explain to me;… How is it that this family, (with pregnant female & infant child), be FORCED, out of their apartment;… with the help of FMPD. No court order of forfeiture of property by the courts. When will this stop?
To add gas to the flame;… The mother of my grandchildren, has lived here far before we moved in. She, with, NOW, 4 kids, one being a premature newborn;… Are now living in their 3rd apartment. Constantly changing apartments, because of the mold problem, water pipes breaking, while having destroyed all of her and the children’s belongings…”(Not one time even mention;..”at least ,out of humanity”; offer to help replace any item lost). Now landlord/manager #3 tells my daughter n law, that they, ( Sunrise Towers), have NO record of her EVER residing here in Sunrise Towers… Did I mention she is on section 8?…
This is a situation that needs media attention and legal help. We the people, (the tenants), NEED, WANT, & we’re ASKING for help. We need help from the government and or law officials because ALL of our constitutional rights are being violated in EVERY measure that is allowed. While using the Fort Myers Police Department to help them do so. We are poor people in the ghetto, hood, bottom;… We are below poverty level… We are presumed ignorant, because we Are below poverty…. Is that why, the City of Fort Myers, are standing by;…. Knowing and FULLYAware that the Constitutional Rights of the tenants of Sunrise Towers, are being violated. Where the City of Fort Myers, (Code Enforcement), are called upon for help;….To, in turn have them (code enforcement), cite you,(the tenant), with a fine, or allow FMPD to involve themselves;… For matters, that in no way involve the tenant, (but people that does not live on the property), and we (the tenants), have NO involvement in. Sunrise Towers, as like many other property complexes, may have bad, problematic tenants;… (I don’t know)… But Not ALL of us, tenants of Sunrise Towers, are problematic. Why are we are being harassed, discriminated against, and stolen from,(charging for more rent, then the actual amount is). Our rights are being violated, and the City of Fort Myers are helping Sunrise Towers, to do so. Do we matter? We may be less fortunate than others, but we are ALL still TAX payers. Trump painted a very ugly painting, of people like us. Us being poor, in the hood, or we just don’t look like you or are even “In Your Circle”, or in Trump words, ” his people”… NONE of that MATTERS. We have rights, just as ANY other human being. The color of my skin, the amount in my bank account, does NOT give authority to ANYONE, to Willfully and Knowingly, VIOLATE my Constitutional Rights.
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